What not to say in a meeting!

I have had a couple of them, and in my humble opinion I could give a few tips that clearly I and others learned the hard way, on what NOT TO SAY!

If Only I new before and thats why I am making this available to you:

1) Don't ask the secretary as you arrive for a meeting what the name of the person you going to speak to is called!

2)Don't tell the person who you meeting, the whole long story, from the minute you woke up... on how you got lost on the way to him/her and thats why you late.

3) Don't agree with everything that the other says and does, to the point that you get caught out i.e,' Don't you just love pork bellies', 'Yes me to, I mean noooooo'

4) 'I made these delicious cookies for you last week, but then you canceled our meeting, but here you go anyway'.

5)I would love to retire right now, hate working with people actually.

6) 'X, Y Z, examine your zip, its undone'.

7) 'Sorry I'm late, I have been up the whole night with a funny tummy.'

8) Come in, with an open comedy evening approach, and start things off with a knock knock joke

Have you had any meeting blunders... forget about it! we all have, we just live and learn and hopefully not make a fool of our selves again. :)